Spent but stronger

12 03 2008

#1. Finished crying. I feel so spent now. Yea, I’m done crying over that. F did a good job counseling me online. It dawned on me that years down the road, when the dreams and visions come to pass, I’d have that woman to thank – for mocking me and my dreams. That idea totally set me free man! Sorry, I can’t allow one woman to steal my dreams and visions. I won’t forget research, I won’t forget China.

#2. YR and I had a great time sharing yesterday. Inevitably, we talked about age-appropriate stuff like finding a partner etc. We agreed that vision is so important. And stability. Yea, I think having a vision is so important. And really, what I thought was attractive when I was 18 years old, I still find attractive today – meekness. A guy who dares to say ‘I’m weak, I need God’, a man who can be vulnerable before God.

#3. I decided to stop asking God “What if…” God will not tell me and I should just move on. 我说我要放弃那棵树, 我一定要!

#4. I really appreciate the different people that God has placed in my life. It is truly a tremendous privilege to be able to know them, especially those who make it safe for me to open up and share what is really on my heart.

#5. I realized that the only reason why I’ve not given up on walking with God is really because He has always held on to me… whether I realize it or not.  Thank You.

Been pondering a lot. Maybe excessively. But I figured that epiphanies come when I take time to ponder. Haha..



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